It is finished

The title says it all. I suppose when I can think straight, I'd write about it. Till then..

Make my day

Found an old writing (200707)

Are you shy?
Please tell me you're just shy.
I cant take this anymore.
Even if you are shy at least --
At least give me a smile or something. 
Don't just stare at me wordlessly 
And walk away as if you just stared right through me.

Letting you slip through my fingers,
Watching your back as you walk away..
Seems to be the only thing I can do for you.
C'mon a smile, please?
Just once.
You'll definitely make my day.

Maybe I shouldn't have let him know. 
How else would you find out about it?
I'd rather you not know than 
For you to know and avoid me 
For he rest of your life.

If only..
If only I could turn back time.
I wouldn't make this mistake.
I'm sure it wouldn't hurt to give a smile?
Maybe you think that'll lead me on.
Sure, why wouldn't it?
But at least it'll make my day for days.
Smile. Please?

Do you?

I wonder,
Do you see my insta story cos you miss me?

When either one of us are overseas or just back from a stint,
You check out my insta story.

Now for me, there's no question about it. You post, I view. That's all there is to it. You post, I may like. That's all there is to it.

Okay, yes, I miss you. I like you. But then I'm predictable.

I post, do you see? I post, you don't like. I post, you mostly don't view. 'Cept when I'm overseas or maybe we've not seen each other in ages.

So what does it mean when you view the stories? What does it mean for you?

My only way of figuring out you are alive looking at my updates is only when I post a story cos I can be sure you've noticed even if you've not responded.

Sigh..

Confused

One moment you are nice and reply.

One moment you ignore me and walk past me.

One moment you smile widely and joke with me.

One moment you like my post on insta.

One moment you view my insta story everyday for 10days at least.

One moment we talk on whatsapp in the wee morning.

One moment we have friendly banter with others present.

One moment you completely ignore my messages.

One moment I can be myself.

One moment you're you.

One moment you eye me as you walk past smiling.

One moment we laugh at your mistake.

Most of the time we are silent - 6-7 days a week.

#whatisthis

I try. I read up. I want to understand.

But I can't find answers.

#seriously

How old are you really?

Sure,
I think of you.
But I'll leave it as that.
Why?
No I'm not giving up till an obvious red light.
I don't want it too obvious, or maybe it has.
Maybe that's why you're quiet.
Maybe that's why you seemingly shifted your attention.
Maybe I just don't know what's going on in your head.
Why can't it be simple like an intro to men of a ___yr old 101. How men think at this age?
Why is it hard to decipher your heart your mind and your actions.
They don't match.
You are 30yrs old but I don't know how old you are in your thoughts or behaviour.
Where is that benchmark that I can say that "OK, it's normal for guys this age?"

😐🙁😬😦🤔

Where's the 'us' at?

I need to know,
Are we mutually  attracted?
Are you being a gentleman now?

Can I have a sign that it's ok to get to know each other better?
Like when can I send you texts which you'll reply?

How will I know?
When can I know?
How long must I wait till I know?
Should I ignore all rules and proceed?

The suspense is getting the better of me :(

Please..

Big Boss

Big boss. 
He's smart.
He's funny.
He's handsome. 
He's mysterious.
He's a lot of secrets.
He's . . .Wait that's you too..

Of all the stuff you have in common, I sincerely hope with all my heart that you won't "pshhhhh..." into some other girl's arms and disappear without a trace.

#yellowjustcause #Ilikeblue #letscompromise 💚