Tuesday, November 6, 2007

what i'd hope for

i have always somehow been wishing to slack my life away and most of the time i act really really indifferent.. so i guess this is how some of my friends really treat me. so when i got my results back i was never really expecting much. i knew that i would either retain or i had to withdraw. either one i would still have to go poly.. so yeah. well i didnt really mind but yeah...

its like i got it back n i promised myself not to cry. i had already stopped crying in sch at sec1.at first i was kind of ok with it. but then in my class only 2 of us retained the rest were promoted tgth. ok maybe on my part i didnt do as well as i thought i could. then another blow...

my friends all promoted. i mean WTH??? dont get me wrong I'M DEFINITELY HAPPY FOR THEM. but thru out its like ppl treated me as me retaining is no big deal..

so my feelings were neither here nor there..
tt is till charles asked me whether i was ok. coz i asked him for his results and he promoted. i would be surprised if he didnt. anyway he asked me so i kind of felt surprised that wat came out of my mouth wasnt really sincere. i did say i was ok i even tried to smile but who knew..
deep inside i felt really deflated...

its kind of like somehow i realized that even he could see i was not ok. what was tt alll abt. i mean i dont really purposely show my feelings and expect sympathy..do i?

i guess there was always this flicker of hope that i would be able to miraculously pass my promos.

my grades?
2 Us
2 Ss
2 Es

i noe what to apply for poly.
problem is, can i get in?
if i dont what do i do?
business? no
mkting? i dont noe
tourism? maybe

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